The Weak Helping The Weaker

A few days ago I had an encounter with someone I don't think I can ever forget. You see I live in Florence, Italy (pause for ooo's and aaah's). But Florence is not a vacation for me. I'm not here as a tourist. I don't just hop from museum to museum, or run around with a ridiculously large and over-priced camera hung around my next taking pictures of every other building that's a least a century old. Neither do I tour churches day in and day out or sit and meditate from sun up to sun down in the Tuscan countryside admiring the beautiful vistas, and sampling the local wines.

Although, I do occasionally indulge in a morning cappuccino (10 times better than Starbucks and less than a Euro!), and digest some delicious handmade pizza, I am not here to just become part of the moving scenery of tourists. I am here to work. Not as some cool jet-set, American Ex-pat, who decided a 6-figure job and a mini-mansion in the burbs was too much to bear, so I booked the first flight over the pond to come find myself again in the tranquility and simplicity of Italian life and culture. I am here as a missionary.

So as you can imagine, my view of this city is quite different than most. If Jesus is boring to you or you stumbled onto this blog about Italy thinking it would give you some travel tips, well this is probably where you will stop reading and move on. That's fine. If you were looking for a travel blog, here's Rick Steeves- https://www.ricksteves.com/europe/italy. Buon viaggio! Ci vediamo!

If you are still here, let me tell you about my personal encounter. I think it might just change your life, or at least your perspective. A few days ago, I passed one of many beggars that I see daily on my way into the grocery store. She was not aggressive, but solemn, sitting on the sidewalk, head down, wrapped in her scarf and worn coat to fight off the bitter chill in the air. At first I walked past her like everyone else. Many beggars in Florence are controlled and used by the Mafia, but not this women. She was too old, too frail to present a threat to anyone. If fact, she was so undesirable, that she almost seemed to blend into the faded paint of the building behind here.

Just beyond her, not 100 feet or so were 2 guys in brightly colored smocks stopping people headed into the supermarket and asking for donations to some relief organization. I tried to dodge them, but the narrow sidewalks of Italy funneled me right into them. I ducked my head quickly, avoiding eye contact, and said a quick, "Ciao!" as I squeezed past and hurried into the store. I routinely went through the store buying the things I needed. This is the daily routine of Italy. No once-a-month mega grocery haul from Sam's or Costco. You buy what you need for the day and maybe a few staples, and that's it. For one thing, you have to carry it, or fit it on a scooter, or bike, and no one wants to walk half a mile home with a bunch of groceries. Even if you could, your refrigerator is much smaller. This is Italian life at it's most basic- daily survival.

I went through the check out as usual, paid, bagged my stuff, and exited the store onto the same street from which I have entered. There she was again. I would have to make it past the smocked relief org. marketers. That wasn't a problem. It was this crumpled woman, pushed against the building with her small, empty plastic cup that froze me in my tracks. I didn't find it so easy to dismiss her this time. Somehow I saw her, and in contrast it seemed no one else did. She was alone, and I was griped with fear.

I knew I had to do something, but I didn't have much. Just a few coins left in change from the store. I was thinking, my bank account is almost empty, and my daughter doesn't have a winter coat. I don't have enough for rent on the 1st of next month. All my excuses seemed so lame. Suddenly, I identified with this stranger. She and I were not so different. She was an outsider. So was I. She was being ignored. I felt the same. She was a beggar. So was I. Her campaign was a cup. Mine was on social media. But it made no difference. The parallels were too obvious to ignore.

I know I had prayed "Thy kingdom come.." thousands of times, but now the kingdom was staring me in the face. When Jesus said he would come again, and build a new kingdom, he said he would take the rejects of this life and promote them, and the prideful he would make low. In that moment, I was staring into the eyes of a future queen in the kingdom of God. How could I ignore her. I grabbed my coins, and ran to her, bent over, and dropped them in. The clanking sound as they echoed in her empty cup was deafening. All the world seemed to freeze around me and go silent as she raised her face to look at me. She pushed back her hair and scarf to reveal a worn face, lined and leathered from the fight of life. I smiled and told her "God bless you - Dio ci benedica!" She smiled back and I walked around the corner and let the tears flow hot down my frozen cheeks.

I wondered to myself, if I can't meet my own needs here, who will meet hers? Who will fight for her? As my emotions and thoughts raced over the 5 minute walk home, God begin to write her story on my heart. It took several days to finish, but I published a poem on Facebook called "Broken For The King." A lot of my friends read it, and said how much it meant to them. But only one challenged me to go back, find our her name and talk to her about how I could help her more. Today I did just that. I went back to her. I squatted down and looked her in the eyes. I dropped a few more coins in her cup, told her God bless you, but then I asked her - "What is your name?" She said, "I'm Maria." I introduced myself, and told her I was an American studying Italian. Somehow I don't think this will be the last time we talk. I hope it's the beginning of a new friendship.

Today I had less than $15 in my bank account. I spent $7 on groceries for the day. I thought to myself, God if I had more, "I would just buy her a bunch of groceries, and then walk her home." Wherever home may be. If she doesn't have a home, maybe she could stay with my family until we could find her a home. God said to help the weak. I did what I could, but it was more the weak helping the even weaker. I ask myself, if I am not here to see Maria, who will? Who will make sure she is cared for?

Sometimes we are waiting on God to do things for us, and He is asking us to risk all we have, then He will take the little and make it much. In Mark 6 the feeding of the 5000 is recorded. The disciples were getting antsy, as the people were restless and hungry. They came to Jesus with a problem, expecting a solution. Jesus turned the question back on them with a command, Mark 6:37 (NIV) "But he answered, 'You give them something to eat.” They recoiled at the enormity of the task, and said it was impossible. Jesus asked them to take an inventory. What they had wasn't nearly enough - 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. That didn't matter. Jesus took what they had and feed thousands, and still had leftovers.

Sometimes we don't give because it seems what we have compared to the need won't make a difference. We shrink back in embarrassment and fear. Jesus is calling us forward to do what we can, and trust in faith that He will make it enough. Someone has to be brave enough to go first. On that day on the hillside, it was a young boy with just enough food for a few. He was the only one among the crowd of men and women who had the courage to bring what he had to Jesus, and believe that He could make it more than enough. Don't let fear of embarrassment and inadequacy hold you back from doing what you can to help God's work go forward. Follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit and give.

Life Under the Tuscan Sun

Hello (Ciao), good evening (buona sera) from Florence, Italy. Yes, Florence, Italy. That sounds so strange for me to say. I suppose when you spend the better part of a decade planning and dreaming of something, and then it finally comes true, that it feels somewhat surreal. I just moved my family from Athens, GA to Florence, Italy a little over a month ago.

We came here under a calling from God to help plant churches and call others to faith in Jesus. I imagine that does sound ironically strange. Missionaries go to remote places with names you can't pronounce and languages that can't be written because it's a series of clicking noises, and the people live somewhat if not totally primitive lives by Western standards (which to my kids means no high speed Internet - Gasp!). Well somehow we won the missionary equivalent to the lotto when it comes to location, but this does not mean it's always a walk in the park.

I do have to say to that Italy is a series of contrasts, much like in America between the haves and have-nots, fantasy and reality. In our first few weeks in Florence I have seen Ferraris and Fiats, fancy streets with high fashion shops of Italian designs to urine-soaked alleys, architecture with exquisite design and steeples that stretch to the heavens and run down-abandon buildings, tourists with $1000 cameras hung around their necks and beggars with their faces laid cheek to the ground.

This my friends is Florence, Italy - a city of such stark contrasts it's hard to fathom. One moment you are gazing at the sunset over the Duomo and the next you are on a crowded bus sweating, walking in a daze thinking "Did Da Vinci walk on this same path?" to dodging the dog poop that some smuck's pooch left behind, or being lost in the view of Ponte Vecchio over the Arno to truly being lost and having no clue which bus to catch to get you back home.


Yes, the contrasts never seem to end. I can buy a great bottle of wine almost anywhere for $3 Euro, but if I have a headache I can only buy ibuprofen in a 12-pack for $5 Euro and only at a pharmacy, which closes in the middle of the afternoon! Yes there's McDonald's and Burger King, but trust me at $3 Euro for a large coke filled halfway up and no refills you are not "having it your way!". There are religious symbols all over the city, but Playboy magazine is right in full view at the "cartolina" - postcard and paper store at any 5 year old boys eye level. The churches are everywhere with lines out the door for tourists Monday through Saturday, but completely empty of worshipers on Sunday.

But it's not all gloom and doom. There is a bright light of hoping shining in this city - ICF Florence - International Christian Fellowship - http://www.icfflorence.com/ - a vibrant, multi-cultural church that sits in the shadow of the Duomo, is bringing hope to hundreds every month. On any given Sunday 50-75 people who sometimes represent as many nations gather to worship God, sing his praises, pray for one another and for the revival of God in this nation. That doesn't sound like a lot of folks, but hey this is a mega church in Italy and more representative of the average sized church in America than you might know. I am not here to debate large vs. small churches, because all are significant. What I can tell you is ICF is full of life, because it is full of the Holy Spirit and people who love Jesus!

God connected us even before we left Athens to pastors Randy and Diane McGehee. They are wonderful people, full of God that have welcomed us from the moment we stepped off the plan. There are so many opportunities for us to serve in music, in hosting Bible studies, and eventually maybe even to plant other locations here in Florence. We have a heart to reach everyone in Florence, but especially the internationals/permanent residents who make up a healthy portion of the 1.5 million people who call Florence (Firenze) home. These things will come with time.

Right now in the first month we are just trying to establish a routine of language school 5 days a week, and making sure Bryson and Laynie get connected with other kids their age through sports, etc. Brandy and I are attending a language school in the city center called Scuola Toscanna http://www.scuola-toscana.com/- where we are receiving instruction in grammar and speaking of the Italian language - easier said than done, but we are making progress. The kids are doing online school at home through Liberty University. They are getting used to a self-paced online school, which is not traditional, but has its benefits. Please pray for them as they get used to school in this way to be successful and have fun with it.

Laynie is playing volleyball for a local sports society called US Sales - http://www.salesvolley.it/. Getting her resistered was not easy or inexpensive, but we wanted Laynie to have something she could enjoy doing, build skills, and make friends, so the cost is so worth it. Her coach is named Sarah. She speaks great English, and is so excited to have Laynie on the team. Her first practice, Sarah asked if Laynie had played before. We said this was her first time trying it. She said she thought she was very good, and might have a chance to play in some matches with the elite team!

Laynie is making friends, but language is making the girls shy. They are kind, but everyone - Laynie included is afraid of saying something wrong in the other person's native language. I know they will work through it. Her practices are on Monday and Thurday afternoons, and are held at a school gym in the Campo di Marte area of Florence about 3km from our house (about a 20 min bus ride, if you do get off at the wrong stop like I did a few weeks ago, and accidentally left Laynie on the bus for an extra stop while all the people were trying to get the driver to let here off! Yeah we walked a little too much that day thanks to Dad!)) All in all I think she is going to do well with volleyball or pallavolo. With her height and athleticism, who knows, she might get a scholarship for college if she keeps going with it!

Bryson has jumped in with both cleats into American football here in Florence. They have an awesome team called the Guelfi - http://www.guelfifirenze.it/. Italy has its version of the NFL, with most teams consisting of mainly Italians with a few Americans here or there. If you want a good glimpe of football in Italy read John Grisham's Playing For Pizza - very accurate depiction of what football is like here in Italy. Most football is played on soccer (calcio) fields, but the Guelfi field is only one of several in all of Italy built especially in the dimensions of an American football field and built especially for football. The stadium, though is about 10 times smaller than my high school stadium on the soutside of Atlanta, and holds about 1500-2000 people, but is due for a facelift and some renovations soon.

Bryson is playing for the junior team and they are happy to have a big ole' Southern boy joining the team to give a good push on the line! The guys speak fairly good English, but the coaches are a mix of Italians and Americans, so he is hearing instructions in both languages. His teammates are helping him with his Italian as well.

His team colors are the historic colors of Florence - purple and red, and the name of the team has historical significance. Even though his practice field is only about 4.5 miles away, it can take us up to 1.5 hours to get there in traffic on Tuesday and Thursday evenings - walking, then a bus to the train station, then a tram, get off, walk a bit, met a friend who drives us the rest of the way!

I am glad to report that my ministry is coming somewhat naturally. I made a friend with one of the fathers who comes to watch his 2 boys practice football on Bryson's team. Through a few times of talking I have learned that his daughter is playing volleyball with Laynie (no coicidence there!), and the girls have made friends as well. Now we talk in the stands for about 2 hours at each practice. He speaks in English, and is kind enough to politely correct me without laughing when I stumble through a few phrases of Italian. At some point, too I would love the chance to help coach. Praying for an opportunity to emerge in God's time.

Also, we have made friends with our local pizzeria owner at Pizza della Cure. Filipo is a fun loving and kind man with a son named Alex about Bryson's age. He speaks great English and even cuts our "pepperoni pizza" - salamino piccante pizza into American slices if we ask. He has a brother who lives in Harrisburg, PA, and always loves to stop and talk for a few minutes while the pizza is baking fresh to order.

These are just a few of the early connections that God is making as we settle into life here in Florence. Please pray for us to stay encouraged, learn the language and culture, and connect with as many people as possible. Also pray for our document processes to continue to go smoothly. Rent is high here, but we know that God will provide for us as He always does. We know that God placed us right where He wanted us to be.

There is so much more to share, so please come back to find out what's new as we explore life under the Tuscan sun. If you want to reach out to us please visit our website at Http://www.wakeupitaly.org. All of our contact information is there. Also, I am using Whats App on my phone, so if you would like my new mobile number, just send me a PM through FB. Ciao for now from your friends in Florence.

I Belong To You

Good evening, God. Most of the time I simply don't take time to write out my prayers and concerns to you, but for some reason tonight it felt like the right thing to do. It seems like lately I've felt pretty lost as to what to do next. For the last couple of years it's been all about getting through school. Before that it was trying to raise missions support. Now that I'm done with school, I just feel kind of clueless as to where to start. I have a new job, and it's nice,  but I know that ultimately it's not where I am called to be for the rest of my life.

From the outside it seems that life it hitting on all cylinders. However, on the inside, my victories feel hollow. I feel like I have lost my drive and passion. I constantly feel frustrated about my lack of progress, but really I don't know what I am measuring myself against. Guess I just feel like I am not where I should be. Honestly, I feel like I've pretty much let everyone down.

We set out  almost 6 years ago with this wild dream of a calling. We jumped out, raised some support, got scared, stopped, went to school, and now I just feel so dry and empty inside. I don't feel like I am really connecting with or connected to anything or anyone. I can't seem to motivate anyone to get involved with our mission. Right now God, I am just weary. Tired. I'm out of energy. Out of ideas. Spent in every category.

I mean I have to be one of the worst candidates for ministry period. I am so unpredictable. So up and down. So untrustworthy. So clueless. So unmotivated. So down. So angry. So out of strength. So lacking in vision. So lacking in resources. So unsure of the future. So lacking in faith. So lacking in confidence. I got a degree in leadership, but no one following. A degree in evangelize, and no motivation to share to gospel.

I ask myself everyday, "If I were in your shoes what could I possibly see in me that would make me the desirable candidate for the job of missionary?" One quality that seems to fit is availability. After severing ties to most everything I held dear, there's nothing tethering me. My family could hop a plane any time. It would take only a few hours to liquidate my "estate", so mobility is not a problem.

Another quality maybe to consider is my empathy for others. This journey, especially the last couple of years have been some of the lowest and most humiliating circumstances I've ever encountered. I've been more in the position of helped than helper. The pride and self righteousness has been zapped out of me. I feel like because I have I felt more of the sting of pain, loneliness, rejection, uncertainty of the future, that I am more apt to lay down my judgements in favor of sharing your love.

My capacity to identify with your sufferings has given me a greater capacity to sense and feel the needs of others without looking down my nose. I understand more than anything that human dignity comes from the image of God that is pressed into every man, woman, boy, and girl, and that intrinsically makes them qualified to receive your love and mercy.

More than anything else though I come back to only one factor that seems to make my family desirable for bearing this calling of mission - you simply chose us. Your Word says many are called, but few are chosen. I think it's because in the process of being called their is a weeding out process to see who will actually stick it out to the end with you. Those left standing, I guess are the ones you choose. Amazingly enough in all my uncertainty, in all my lack, I come back to this one fact...you have chosen us for such a time as this to bear your message to a new generation.

I told a church group once that you have to chose to be chosen. You have to understand that you'll never understand this side of heaven all the reasons and ways of God and why He tugs at you in certain directions and at certain times. Sometimes the draw is so primal I can barely put it into words. The attraction I feel towards the mission you have assigned us. I guess that's why I feel frustrated at times, because I just want to please you Daddy. I just want to be found faithful. I don't understand why it is taking so long to get to where you want us to go.

I don't understand all the obstacles and challenges. I don't understand the delays. But tonight I simply choose to follow. There's a hymn now that comes to mind that I used to sing as a kid. Two in fact that are mixing in my mind that seem rather appropriate to mention at this time. "I have decided to follow Jesus", and "Where he leads me I will follow." God, I honestly don't know all that you may be up to, but I just want you to know that I'm still available, still seeking, still choosing your call. In your time I trust you will open the right doors, lead the right partners to us, provide the resources, etc. Right now with all the questions still lingering in my mind and heart I just choose to be yours. To belong to you. And that is enough.

Your loving son,

Stephen

More Than A Little Frustrated: Impossible Things Through Improbable People

Good evening. It's been a long time since I felt the need to write. As many of you know our family has been on a long journey to get to the mission field and work as church planters. When the call first came in October 2008 we were excited, but clueless. Now we have somewhat of a clue, but have lost the sparkle in our eye. It's hard to say exactly when it started, and it probably doesn't matter, but to say I am tired and weary is an understatement.


Maybe I am just a big baby, and need to shut it. I think my frustration, though is focused on why with all the thinking, planning, studying, and effort put forth, that we are still not where God called us to be. Many people who care a lot say, "It's not God's timing." I get that. Really I do.

But there is a fine line in surrender of knowing where you end and God begins. What is my part and what is God's. Clearly He doesn't want me to stand still forever. Nor does He want me rushing ahead bull-headed. I have really meditated on this problem for a long time, and my desire is clearly to please God in all that I do.

I have a big need to succeed at what I do, as do most humans. It's part of our code. We are little image bearers, and therefore we want to create like our Father does, of course on a much smaller scale.

The frustration is clearly understanding the objective, clearly being able to define a strategy to get there, clearly understanding what to do when I arrive at the destination, but at every twist and turn being blocked by invisible forces. You could say it was all coincidence, but its too frequent and coordinated to just be physical happenstance.Yes I know we have an adversary that delays, discourages, discredits, distracts, depresses, and tries to destroy us and the dream God put in our hearts.

However, if this really is a God dream, at some point the enemy has to flee, the tide has to turn, the battle line has to surge forward in our favor. I know God's timing is not my timing, but honestly, I am coming to the end of myself. I have done everything I can to be obedient to the point of sacrifice, to bear up under the burden of this mission, but to be honest, and I know if you are paying attention you know I am not the most stable of persons. I am cracking.

You have no idea how many times I have wanted to quit on "Waking Up Italy". No matter how frustrated I get, I always get back up the next day and dream about, think about, work towards it, write about it, and talk about it. Even my kids write it on there hands to remind themselves.

God burns like a fire in me. But God, this sacrifice is almost consumed. My heart is almost crushed. I so want to please you Daddy. I don't want to fail you, and the people who have believed for so long that this vision was possible. So God I am praying tonight, "I believe God, but help my unbelief." Help me see this mission through to the end. I can't do it alone. Forgive me for not trusting you. For not being faithful. For not being consistent. For not tending the flame as I should.

Father, I am desperate for you, and I don't care how weak I look. I am broken before you. I don't want anything else, but you. I don't want to do anything else, but the mission you gave me to go "wake up" a sleepy nation. I know I am not skilled enough, or strong enough, but you do impossible things through improbable people. In all my brokenness, I am crying out "USE ME GOD! SEND ME GOD! USE ME!"

The Power of Love

Most people outside Christianity believe God is just angry with humanity and is waiting for them to step out of line so He can pounce on them and send them to Hell to burn forever. This is partly the fault of Satan influencing the world and people, and partly the preaching from our pulpits.
 
 
Much of it is just venomous spit hurled at people outside of Christianity. This is not how God meant for us to evangelize. He said we should be known by our love. This is most clear when it is demonstrated and not just spoken. Unfortunately, many think works is a bad thing, a show of pride. "Religion is a private matter" - wish I had a dime for every time I've heard that said to me. It's a lie. Religion is highly public; especially Christianity. To remove the intrinsic urgent evangelistic thrust of the gospel is to completely inoculate it, and render it utterly useless.
 
 
Other times people think social justice works are separate from the "real gospel" - i.e., Jesus and the cross. While the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus are central to the gospel, the example Christ left us to follow in his footsteps and do works of goodness and kindness are in fact just as valid a part of the gospel. We can't just focus on saving souls, and forget the body and the mind. Our approach must be holistic, because God made us holistic with a command to love him with all our mind, body, soul, and spirit - not just one part over the other.
 
 
Therefore demonstration of the gospel must work hand in hand with its proclamation. We must recover in our preaching both the humanity as well as the divinity of Jesus - 100% both! The mystery and reality of the incarnation is the greatest revelation to share with others to break down this misconception of a mean angry God. John 3:17 is even a greater revelation to me than John 3:16. The fact that God sent Jesus to save the world and not condemn it has been completely under communicated.
 
 
I am so tired of Satan spewing forward this lie that God is angry with humanity. We must dispel it and destroy it with the power of the truth of the gospel - God is crazy in love with us, not because of what we have done, but because of who made us. Only the Creator of something can determine it's worth and value. One aspect of Paul's teaching that resonates with Jesus is Romans - "nothing can separate us from the love of God." Preach that and watch God convict the hearts of people! Love is infinitely more powerful than judgment!

 

Welcome to the Jungle!

Most people don’t understand why I am so intense about my calling. I mean it’s only Italy right, how bad can it be? You get to sip cappuccino and admire the wonderful architecture. It’s not like you are going to the jungle or anything. Well, I wonder if demons prefer to gather more in jungles of leaves or jungles of people and ideas. I would think they would congregate at the intersection of human contemplation, endeavoring to influence people’s thoughts and steal their hearts from God.

Nevertheless, anything we do with God to help snatch people out of hell is risky. It doesn’t matter how beautiful the back drop scenery is when you are focused on the broken condition of human hearts. The work of God will always be intense and dramatic. After all, we are dealing with life and death. Maybe it’s easy for us to not take the words of Ephesians 6 seriously because we are not posing that much of a threat to hell. Ephesians 6:12 (NIV) says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

C.T. Studd, English missionary to China and the Congo in the later 19^th and early 20^th century nailed it when he said, “Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop, within a yard of hell.” He lived with an intensity that most of us cannot even fathom. We want to say, “hey, dude tone it down a bit. Don’t you think you are taking yourself and this whole Christian thing a little too seriously?” But Studd didn’t let up. His desire was to please God so much that he made himself a threat to hell. He said too, “I want to live in such a way that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am no longer in the fight.”

No one else’s words seem to capture the seriousness and intensity which God has called me forward. So I say to all who will go bravely out into their spheres of influence with the cause of Jesus written on their hearts and boldly spoken from their lips, “Welcome to the jungle!”

Jesus is number F-O-U-R (4)?!

In a recent poll Italians were asked to whom they addressed prayer. Jesus was the # F-O-U-R (4)person on the list - (Jesus is Number 4 video)! It's for this reason that our hearts are committed now more than ever before to get to Italy to live out and teach the saving gospel of Jesus Christ! No matter what it takes to get there and get the work done, we will do it! No matter if anyone else follows us or believes we can do it, we HAVE to go, and WANT to go because God said to do it! He called us to wake up Italy and that's what we intend to do!

Because of what we've learned in the process of getting ready for our calling, we are not afraid of what can happen to us. We are living on the edge of our faith with our kids right there in the mix, and are having the time of our lives watching God work His plan out for us. Like Las Vegas gamblers, we have shoved in all our chips on Jesus, and bet everything that the call He spoke to us is true and is coming to pass even right now.

We have never stopped working to see the reality of waking up Italy to the truth of Jesus happen. Our colleagues are working, evangelizing and discipling and planting new churches. Our ministry partners are helping with their financial gifts and prayers each month. And we are finishing out with fundraising and school (graduating in October). We look forward to joining in the church planting work in Italy soon

Just to let you know where we are right now - I wanted to let you know that to date we have raised 63% of our monthly support budget. We have been increasing every month, and now only need just over $500 in monthly support to reach 70% of our support goal. At this point, we will be able to enter the last phase of our preparation - applying for our religious worker's visas for entrance into Italy!

We will be coming to Atlanta during the week of March Monday, March 25 - Friday, March 29 to meet with local pastors about joining our support team. We already have meetings scheduled, but if you have been praying about becoming a partner in waking up Italy to Jesus, now would be the time to contact us to set up a meeting - stephen@wakeupitaly.org. We would love to schedule a lunch or coffee meeting and tell you how you can be a part of a dynamic explosion of the gospel into the hearts and lives of those living in Italy! It's time to wake up Italy! Will you be a part of making Jesus # 1 again in the hearts of Italians?!

 

 

Transformation is More Important Than Transportation

I've always been somewhat of a perfectionist and people pleaser. I like to have people pleased with me, so I sometimes will push myself beyond normal human limits in order to impress others. This has sometimes caused me to make poor choices personally, and inflict wounds to my own soul and others, too.

Lately, though I have felt God speaking to me as we prepare to go work in Italy that this mode of operation simply cannot be carried over if I am to be successful. The journey to our ministry destination has sometimes taken surprising turns, such as being in graduate school at Wheaton College. I always thought I'd come back to school after we spent a few years in ministry, but God had a different plan.

In preparation for a class on leadership, I recently read a book called Strengthening the Soul of Your Own Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton. Of all the books I have read thus far in graduate school, this book has found its way not only into my head, but into my heart. God has used it to awaken in me a reconnection to his Spirit, reevaluation of my priorities, and a deep conviction that I need to rest more in God and stop striving so much to be all things to all people.

I came to a place where I was pouring out everything I had for everyone else, but not really spending the time alone with God so my own soul could be refreshed. That may sound selfish at first, but if I don't have a connection with God that is personal and meaningful, how in the world can I lead others to experience God in that way, too?

No other statement in a book has impacted me more than what I am about to share with you now. It articulates exactly where I am right now in my calling to Italy. I pray that God will use this quote to strengthen you to stay true to him and the calling he has placed on your life, too.

"The transformation that is happening in us is more important that getting where we think we need to go." I've been so enamored with just getting to Italy to minister that I sometimes get agitated with why it has taken so long to get there. Sometimes I forget that for God to work through me to others he has to first work in me.

Right now I am at a place where I am simply trying to focus on staying faithful to Jesus, pay attention to everything he is trying to teach me, and then move forward when he is ready for me to do so. "As we stay faithful to the journey into the center of our being where God dwells, we are freed from our bondage to the expectation of others and our own inner compulsions, we are less and less mesmerized by human voices, less and less manipulated by the expectation of others and more and more given over to God." Now that we are several years into this journey, I feel God renewing the vision inside me to get to Italy and plant churches, but minus the need to please others and live up to their expectations, either real or imagined.

Lastly, I am finding that, "In our encounters with God we die not only to the expectations of others but also to ourselves - our addictions to performing, to looking good and being perfect, to attaining more status than is good for us." In this journey God has revealed much in my heart, and is transforming me from the inside out. Yes, I am on fire more than ever to get to Italy and begin our work, but I want to do it with my full heart engaged, not damaged. I'll be no good to anyone, if I don't take the time to let God heal my own heart and strengthen me form the inside out.

When I consider all that God has done in us over the last few months, I believe we are now closer than ever to taking the next step in our journey. Italy is not that far from where we are.

If God called you to Italy how'd you end up in Illinois?

 

 

EMPTY CHURCHES, BROKEN HEARTS

 

Sitting here tonight contemplating my future. Knowing where God has called me from, and where he's called me to, but somehow feeling blocked from going forward. Yes, God called my family to plant churches in Italy. It's a calling that does not seem to be necessary or even legitimate sometimes. So if God called me to Italy, how did I end up in Illinois? Well stick around and find out.

First I have to back track and tell you there are so many stereotypes about Italy. The things that first come to mind is it's a nice place for vacation, great wine, great food, beautiful landscapes, beautiful art and architecture, wonderful engineering feats, and fast cars. This Italy does not compute with a call to missions and church planting there. I am sure most people think like I did in October 2008 when my wife came and told me God is calling us to Italy. "Nobody goes to Italy to do missions."

I honestly know now that these thoughts are what's going on in people's heads when I tell them that in spite of a Catholic Christian tradition that most Italians (95%) don't go to church. That's 57 million out of 60 million people. There's a Catholic church in every one of Italy's 33,500 cities, but somehow instead of turning to their Creator for help and answers about life, many Italians turn to psychics. Yes, Italians spend $8.5 BILLION annually asking a madam for advice instead of the King of Kings.

Yes, this sounds like an indictment, and maybe even a little harsh. But that's the reality of the problem. The numbers are not shared out of anger, but out of compassion. Italians are like most people in the West. We have a heritage of faith from Christendom, but it doesn't work practically into our lives and how we make decisions. Instead of the gospel advancing in Europe and America, the Enlightenment has come full circle and produced well-cultured, well-informed disciples of the post-modern, post-Christian reality that we all share in now.

It's clear to me now that there are indeed 2 Italy's; the one we want to see and is indeed real, and the one that God sees that is even more real. I fought the stereotypes, too, but finally surrendered out of sheer evidence of the paganization of the whole continent of Europe. We can no longer be the kid in the corner with our eyes closed and hands over them saying, "No, it's not real. I don't believe you!" We must accept the fact that we have all been the frog in the pot of water. We have allowed the culture of the world to fool us into thinking that we are all alright.

I understand now why people look at me and my choice to follow God with such perplexity. I can read it in their eyes. Even if they can suspend their version of reality long enough to engage the fact that maybe the Italy I am telling them about really does exist, they can't possibly think that my going there could do anything to make the situation better. Sometimes I think I believe them. It doesn't make sense to me at all that God would call me and my family out of Atlanta, GA to go to Italy and plant churches. I don't have a Bible degree. I don't speak Italian. I don't have any prior experience as a cross-cultural missionary. It would seem God chose the wrong family for the mission.


But ever since I said yes to God in this call it has been an uphill battle to convince people of the legitimacy of who I am and the work that God has called me to do. When I have told some people about how much money it takes to live and work there, I have been asked if I know anyone rich. I simply say "Jesus, He owns everything anyway." Other times I have fought anger internally at the seeming complacency of some people's hearts to join in. I have been reprimanded for my tenacity and told to stop being a missionary martyr; making people feel sorry for me and my suffering.

I'm not even sure what that means anyway, but I have kept moving forward with no apology for my passion. I've had pastor's critique my abilities, my church's commitment to me, etc. Still I press forward. I have grown in this process, and although painful, I am grateful that God has counted me worthy of this call. I am not so angry at people not giving to me, as the general deer in the headlights stare that most people give when anyone challenges them to push outside the norms of the patterns of their lives and make a sacrifice to take the gospel into the dark places of their communities.

I ask myself, "God what are we doing posting pics of our new flat screens, and our recent cruise to the Bahamas, or the new truck we just bought, etc., etc. on Facebook while your work goes undone?!" In the previous century our ancestors burned with passion and sacrificed much to take the gospel with urgency to the ends of the earth. Now we have to bait people with prizes and special events to even get them off their couches and into the church. All the while we are breaking our arms patting ourselves on the back for serving in the soup kitchen or dropping an extra $20 in the plate. When are we going to stop consuming the gospel through buying CD's of the latest trendy CCM artist, downloading MP3's of our pastor's last revelation from God, and stop wasting our lives gorging ourselves on the constant buffet of media placed in front of us? When will we push away from the table of indulgence, and say "Enough is enough!" I wanna live the gospel and not some vicarious idealistic substitute. If you are not in these categories, then there's no indcitment here. However, God may in this moment be holding a mirrior up to us all, and asking us, "Is all this clutter in your heart and mind and life really necessary?"

How did I get to Illinois? I got fed up with myself. I got tired of listening to and not doing the gospel. I got tired of being religious and not godly. I got tired of going through the motions of Christianity, and started taking the Great Commission seriously and personally. I asked the Lord to transform me from the inside out. Along the way the worst of my humanity has come out. I have been like Jonah pitching a fit over the small things, instead of being glad God has used me to advance His kingdom on the earth. I have worried more about my reputation and the perception others have of me than in my obedience to my King. I don't count myself better than anyone else. I have no credentials except an encounter with Jesus that I can never forget that day on October 3, 2008 when he told me to go to Italy. However, I do count myself a herald. A voice crying out to a generation memorized by the Piped Piper's beautiful songs. God is calling to us all, "Wake up sleepers, wake up to the reality of who I am and the work I am doing to renew all of creation including you!"

The funny thing is, I'm sure there are people who think I've been dishonest in my estimation of when we are leaving for the mission field. Even though I've tried to communicate faith and certainty in a time of ambiguity, I have had to continually adjust my time line to fit God's as He has chosen a longer path than we could have ever predicted. Why did I end up in Illinois? Because God said to come here and get prepared. I came to Wheaton College to get Bible and leadership training. Still people have probably thought I have taken a detour and lost my passion or will or vision for Italy.

However, I see it this way. Wheaton, IL has become Midian for me; a place of training and preparation that will prove invaluable once our feet are on Italian soil. Someone wise once told me that being misunderstood is the price we pay as missionaries to take the gospel to the ends of the earth. Well I am learning to be more comfortable with being misunderstood.

It's exhausting to constantly feel the need to defend my honor and integrity. Right now I have decided to just follow the path God has laid out for me to get to Italy and plant churches, and welcome those who want to share in the work. God doesn't need me to be his public relations guy, offering an explanation for every time the plan He has for me seems to take a misguided step.

I am sure some people think I will never actually follow through with this calling. If that is the case I am here to let them know that they have completely underestimated the God who is so powerfully at work in me. I am not smart enough, strong enough, savvy enough, experienced enough to do what God has called me to do, but I am courageous enough to believe God at his word when He said He called foolish people like me to help bring His kingdom on the earth. What drives me? The voice of God, and the picture of empty pews. When will I get to Italy? I'm already there!


 

Tears and Fears

 

Today is the new "Black Friday." Adam Lanza made sure of that today when he murdered 27 people, many of whom were children in a Connecticut elementary school before turning the gun on himself this morning. When things like this happen, we all pause and ask, "Why?" We turn our faces away from our laptops and TV's and iPads just long enough to look up towards heaven and wait for God to answer. We shed a few tears, hug our children tighter and then maybe quizzically ask in a rhetorical fashion, "How?" How is something like this tragedy even possible?

 

 In our effort to find answers we turn outward and look for an external source, causes to the problem. There we find the weapons. Now we have our answer. The guns killed those children and adults. We need tougher laws. Now I'm not arguing that something needs to be changed in this country in regards to gun control. Setting that issue aside for a moment, however, I want to press deeper, because I think the questions "Why?" and "How?" deserve more than just a superficial answer.

 

 The problem with Adam Lanza is our problem, too. His mental and emotional capacity aside, Adam suffers from a far worse condition – his corrupted and sinful nature. Satan found in him the spirit of Judas, a desire to betray all that is good and holy, and exploited it. Why did Adam Lanza snap? How is it possible for him to have conceived of such a violent and hideous plan to snuff out so many lives – Adam was sick, and so are we. Sick with a violent nature towards God. Our hearts are dark and selfish, and in need of some light.

 

God sent light into the world. So when we ask God, “Why and how in regards to this tragedy, God points us to the answer he has already provided in his Son Jesus. John wrote of Jesus in John 1:4-5 (NKJV), “⁴ In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. ⁵ And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. Why did we not understand his coming? Because we loved our sin. It's hard to admit, but we all LOVE our darkness more than we love the light of Jesus. It's easier to keep the light out than let our hideous deeds be exposed against the brilliant purity and radiance of the living God! John wrote later in 3:19-20, “¹⁹ And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. ²⁰For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.”

 

At the end of the day we all turn away from God and run and hide like Adam and Eve trying to “fix” or “cover” our problems hoping God won’t notice. Our pride keeps us from surrendering fully to him. We don’t want to be faced with the depravity of our own souls apart from God’s intervention. But if we are to be cleansed fully, we must recklessly and unashamedly pour out in confession and admit that the condition of our soul is dark and nothing but darkness apart from God. We need to not just confess individual sins, but come to the realization that as Isaiah said in 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.”

 

Our pride and self-reliance keep us imprisoned by the fetters of our sinful nature. Not many talk about the sin nature anymore. We all want to deal with the outward symptoms, but no one wants to go through spiritual chemo and radiation to eradicate the source of the cancer in our soul. However, only Jesus can heal us! This is the real story of Christmas; the real reason for the Incarnation - why it was necessary for God to become man and die to be risen again. He died not just to forgive us of the individual times we sin; He died to make us new. Completely new! To restore the Imago Dei – the image of God pressed into humanity from the beginning before the Fall. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” Jesus didn’t come to make us better. NO! Jesus is not our way to a better life. He is the way to NEW life!

 

 When we refuse to admit how dark we really are on the inside, we are only fooling ourselves. We need to stop telling people, “You’re OK, God loves you anyway.” Yes, He loves us the way we are, but He loves us far more than to leave us in that sorry condition. Every day I am reminded that everything inside me, every inclination of my heart wars against God. My flesh pulls me towards destruction, and desires to partner with Satan in wreaking havoc on humanity. However, we must all take seriously the reality of why such an act such as the one that happened in Connecticut today is possible. The image of God in all of us has been corrupted by sin, so as a result our free will has been marred.

 

To complicate matters, there is one who lives to incite a riot of epic proportions in the souls of humanity. He lives to bring death to everyone and everything. Peter reminds us and warns us in 1 Peter 5:8, “⁸ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” All Satan needs is a willing vessel to cooperate with him and carry out his plan of destruction. Today he found one in Adam Lanza. All the more reason we must as Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) tells us, “ Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Without the Holy Spirit living in our hearts, our lives are like houses with unlocked doors, ready to fall prey to the whims and desires of the devil.

May the horror of what happened today turn us to God and push us to our knees in repentance. Let the events of “Black Friday” make tomorrow a truly “Sober Saturday.”

No More Silence

 

As I write, I am listening to the song Break Every Chain, by Jesus Culture and the line keeps repeating There is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.... The more I listen, the bolder my heart grows for the calling He has placed on my life as a missionary to the people of Italy.

 

Since October 3, 2008, God has branded me for this purpose. At times, I have fought it, cursed it, run from it, wept in it, shouted for joy in it, and finally embraced it and called it my own. Sometimes I feel like the prophet Jeremiah when he tried to get out of preaching, "But if I say, 'I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. - Jeremiah 20:9 (NIV)

 

No matter how many times I tried to put this call on someone else’s shoulders and made excuses for why I can't do what God has called me to do, he has kept scooping it up, and placing it on me. I don't run from it anymore. I don't curse it anymore. I wear it like a garment of mourning as I weep for the lost souls in Italy who are yearning to be free from the bonds of unbelief that the enemy has for too long used to keep eyes blinded, ears plugged, hearts hardened, feet bound from running to the truth, and arms and hands tied so they cannot reach out and receive the free gift of life that God longs to give them.

 

But like Jeremiah, I cannot hold it in any longer. I am a dam bulging at the weight of a mighty river ready to surge forth. No longer will I be silent or ashamed of my call. I run with God into the fight, with NO FEAR of the consequences. I have chased all the other false lovers; soul mirages that have left me dry and broken - money, sex, power, complacency, self-indulgence, etc. I am ruined but for Christ. I am good for nothing but to be broken like an alabaster jar at His feet in a life of total sacrifice. Indeed, I am already oozing the sweet perfume of His Spirit. I long for the day that this prophecy is fulfilled in all the earth - Habakkuk 3:2 (NIV) - "Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy."

 

However, it seems frequently that when I share about my burning passion and ask others to join in with me, I get the same response that Moses gave to the burning bush - “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.” – Exodus 3:3. Why is my passion so strange? Why do people pat me on the back for my courage, and shake their heads in disbelief?

 

Isn’t this a reasonable act of worship – Christianity 101? Romans 12:1 (NIV) says – “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” Why is total sacrifice strange or noble or admirable? Stop applauding, put down your hands, and run courageously with me into the fray. When God calls out in our generation as he did to Isaiah in 6:8 (NIV) - “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”…..will we not answer him as Isaiah did? “Here am I. Send me!”

 

Maybe your spiritual battlefield is not Italy. Maybe yours is the office where you work, the neighborhood you live in, the school where you take classes, or the community where you shop. We must be compassionate conquerors, as we hold the banner of Jesus high, crushing the enemy under our feet, and taking the liberated captives into the shelter of the wings of an Almighty God who in Luke 61:1-2 and again in Luke 4:18-19 (NIV) declares- “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.”

 

This is truly the gospel. This is truly Good News! Truly there is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain. So no more silence. No more fear. No more complacency. God is calling us to action. What will we choose to do? In life you will inevitably burn for something. Why not burn for God?!

Portrait Of Power

I am a man of strength. At 6’ 2”, 220 lbs., not many people question my physical abilities. Gifted with strength and an unusual ability to tolerate pain, even as a child playing sports doctors marveled at the courage I exhibited under the stress of injury that would make most a puddle of tears. Endurance is a gift that helps me go beyond the physical limits of most people.

I am a man of knowledge. A college graduate with an IQ above 130, not many question my cognitive abilities. Gifted with an ability to think on my feet and create solutions faster than most has earned me a reputation in my field of audiovisual technology. When the seconds are ticking off the countdown clock before the curtain goes up and issues are flaring, I’m the guy on the technical delta team that runs in and gets the job done before anyone knows a problem has even occurred. Problem solving is a gift that helps me excel where most others fail under the pressure.

I am a man of passion. A poet of sorts with a command of the pen, not many question my ability to communicate. Gifted with an ability to speak, write and sing, I’ve always had the confidence and ability to sway others’ opinions with a crafting of words or persuasive emotional appeal. Passionate expression is a gift that helps me stand out from the crowd as a leader.

So when God called my family to Italy as missionaries on October 2, 2008, I thought to myself, “OK God, which one of these gifts that you’ve given me will make the most impact in fundraising now and on the Italian people once we arrive in Italy?” After more than 30 years as a believer, I should have known his response already. His answer was the same as it has always been –  ”But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV). However, I wasn’t ready to give him the correct reply – “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV). I was a victim of my own pride.

Our culture teaches us and our churches sometimes unintentionally reinforce the message to mask our weaknesses by overcompensating in our strengths. This is image protection in its purest form.  It’s not that we are dishonest with others, but it’s just counter intuitive to gain influence with people and have them instill confidence in you by publicly trumpeting your weaknesses. That’s not a good resume building technique.

However, especially in the last six months since I resigned the staff position I held on the technical team of my church, God has been taking me through a molting process of sorts, helping me understand the difference between self-reliance and God-dependence. Last year our fundraising efforts were producing amazing results, and we had a reserve of cash in the bank to fund our immediate needs for several months. Therefore, when I resigned my job last August, I honestly thought God would be impressed with this noble act of faith and sacrifice and bless us with the rest of our funding in just a few months. Other missionaries just didn’t have the faith, marketing savvy or tenacity that we had. We were going to beat the 2 year Bell Curve for European missions support raising, write a book on our humble success, and publish our findings so others could be inspired by our story! OK, so maybe I am exaggerating a bit about the book idea, but honestly, we thought we had found some secret missions fundraising portal that would propel us past expectations and really prove to everyone that God has His hand on our family.

The reality set in when the money started running out and the funding started to slow down. We started pushing harder, asking more frequently, praying more earnestly, but all the while never really trusting God to come through in a way that we did not expect. I had created only one solution scenario and God was not following my script. Why had God spoken to us to leave our jobs, if He wasn’t going to rain down fire on our altar and show those Baal-ers who was boss?

To be honest my personal embarrassment started to drive my decision making processes more than the Bible and the Holy Spirit. I started to become less God dependent, and started looking for ways to solve these problems on my own. I secretly polished up my resume and posted it on Monster. Not a single hit. I thought, “God, are you kidding me? What was I thinking in August? I put up the public challenge, posted all the billboards about the good vs. evil showdown, but it seems that you are not going to show up at all! Thanks (sarcasm implied), knowing my ego was about to take a huge hit.”

I was able to keep up the faith charade for a few months, but by the time the Christmas holidays hit and nothing had really changed, I literally gave up the vision inside. I had set out for the Promised Land with high hopes and a sprinter’s pace. God had parted our Red Sea, but now we felt lost in the desert. As most marathoners know, if you pick too fast of a pace, you’ll eventually hit “the wall.” I had hit it alright, but kept backing up and hitting it again with the hopes of knocking it down.

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

God had not forgotten me, or the calling He had placed on my family. He just needed me to change my attitude to come in line with Him.  Now I truly understand the reason He took me through this process. If I am ever going to really fulfill the calling he has placed on me in Italy to reach the lost, disciple and train leaders, plant churches and see them grow from missionary dependent to God dependent, then He needed to get out all of that false hope that is based on self-reliance and replace it with true faith built not on my abilities but firmly on Him.

Recently I read a statement that really put the graduation cap on this whole lesson in humility. I think it sums up the way God wants to communicate the saving message of His Son – “If you want to impact people, don’t talk about your successes; talk about your failures. - John Maxwell, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Now I understand what God was trying to communicate in 2 Corinthians 12:9 when Paul wrote, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” God’s power is the portrait, and my weakness is the frame on which it hangs for display. If that’s the case then make me a museum for your glory, Lord for all to see just how great You are!